Hello there, welcome, Do come in, so nice to see you all. Do draw up a chair. I haven't got any, you see, with this not being a house as such, so a picture of a chair will have to do.
Is everybody seated? Yes? Good, I wouldn't want you to have to stand through the entire thing. I can hardly think of anything worse than having aching legs and nowhere to sit.
Moving swiftly onwards.
Welcome, welcome all of you to my blog. Who knows what chaos will ensue? Not me, most certainly, even though I am the author, which means nothing except that I shall write when I have something to say. What that shall be I do not know, but I'm sure we will find out in due course.
Well, I suppose the first thing to say after the lengthy welcome is that I can't promise that this will be anything special. Unless, of course, you're either crazy or like reading long, rambling bits of text. Or both. But I would still appreciate it if you would stay, even just for a little while. You never know, you might get tea and cakes later if you're lucky. And if I remember.
Secondly, if you choose to take offense at anything I say, then that is fine. You have our opinion, and I have mine, if we disagree then so be it. Just remember that if you disagree, there is no need to inform me of this fact in an obnoxious manner. Everybody is entitled to their opinion, including you, and including me, so it would be greatly appreciated if you would not enforce your opinion upon everybody who reads this.
Thirdly, I don't like spending large amounts of time trying to translate illegible slang into proper English. If you want to use slang, go ahead, that's fine with me. Just don't expect me to take any notice of anybody who t@1k5 l13K d15. Chances are I'll just get very annoyed and send you on your way.
And finally: http://nyan.cat/
Just so you know.
